Platinum Cat and his nefarious minions the Tactical Tabbies
Platinum Cat and his nefarious minions the Tactical Tabbies |
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The Tactical Tabbies are The Official Feline Strike Force of the New Millennium.
Platinum Cat founded the Tactical Tabbies several years ago. The exact date is unknown because they are a top secret, covert group. There are unsubstantiated rumors that Platinum Cat is actually Graylyn Rockford, but as far as we are concerned, they amount to little more than idle gossip.
The Tactical Tabbies are kittens between the age of six weeks and one year, old enough to be weaned but young enough not to have been neutered or spayed. They are wild, reckless, adolescent cats who still have all nine lives left. But don't be fooled, they are also a highly disciplined, effective fighting force. Once a Tactical Tabby reaches maturity, at about one year of age, he/she either retires or becomes an instructor. Most adult Tactical Tabbies are spayed or neutered. Like Graylyn Rockford says, "Neuter and spay, it's the American way."
To take advantage of the large number of retired Tactical Tabbies, Platinum Cat instituted the Pre-Tabby program. Pre-Tabbies are kittens whose mothers are Tactical Tabby veterans. The mother accompanies her kittens through their initial training until they are six weeks old. This gives them a head start on the other recruits. Platinum Cat is very excited about the Pre-Tabby program and expects great things from his young protégés.
Some functions of the Tactical Tabbies are similar to the U.S. Secret Service. They protect feline government officials such as First Cat Socks, Supreme Court Justice Graylyn Rockford, and many other prominent kitties. Tactical Tabbies assist the Feline Bureau of Investigation, especially where covert action is required. A special joint Tactical Tabby/FBI honor guard provides security at the Monroe K. Katt Memorial in King, NC, the tomb of the late FBI Director. The Tactical Tabbies' mission is to "Protect Truth, Justice, And The Feline Way."
You have no doubt seen a Tactical Tabby and not realized it. Most certainly, they have seen you. Whenever you are walking or riding down the street, you have probably noticed, on occasion, a young tabby cat disappear around a corner or slip behind a tree. You were under surveillance. Now that you know, watch for them. Remember, the Tactical Tabbies are always watching for you.
It was Platinum Cat who first became aware of the presence of South African spies in this country. He took immediate action and created a new elite Tactical Tabby unit called the Afrikaats to monitor the spies. The Afrikaats are native American cats but they are able to ignore humans speaking Afrikaans as well as English. However, make no mistake, they understand precisely what is being said. Apparently, the South African spies are part of a massive plot to hack into the Federal Reserve and steal all of America's money. The goals of this plan are unclear at the moment, but have no fear, the Tactical Tabbies and the FBI are on the case.
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